a.broken.<3. (iloveyouback) wrote,

  • Mood:
Let me vent.

For as long as i could remember, i wanted to be
loved. not just by friends, but by someone.
when i was younger, there were always boys.
boys and me. blah blah. i was a kid.
i grew up now and now no boys want anything to
do with me. and why? i dont want to say the
reasons why i think. it's depressing.
but i think to myself..
there has to be a guy out there that will like
a girl like me. someone i can grow with.
someone i can just talk to. someone that will
share their opinions with me. someone that
will laugh and have fun with me and my friends.
just someone. someone. someone. someone.
ha. i am young. i know i know.
but that is not the point anymore.
i would just love to have someone right now
and for as long as we could last together.
we don't have to be together forever.
forever is until the end of time therefore
nothing in my lifetime can last forever.
but it would be nice to have someone that
will last with you until the end of my own time.
it would be nice to have someone that you
dont have to spend every waking moment with..
but when you do spend time together it is
so unbelievable. and i don't like silence..
but being in silence with this someone it
would be all okay. and just someone i can
stare at the stars with on november nights.
[one of my dreams] but that's it.
it's a dream of mine. i am a dreamer.
a problem of mine sometimes. i tend to daydream.
a lot. about things that will never happen.
but these dreams make me happy. make me smile.
but that is what dreams do sometimes.
i am both happy and sad. i am happy to have
the wonderful people in my life that i do.
but i am sad about several things. but life is
so short. so why not just be happy? well it's
not that easy. but i am more happier now than i
used to be. i'll give myself that. but there
are some parts missing in my life. and their
are is a void in my heart. it hurts.
and guys can hurt me without knowing. it sucks.
i want to tell them. but somethine holds me back.
and i actually have feelings for someone again
besides you know who. and it's hard. i don't know
what to do. i am scared. confused.
and what if i was to find someone? and didnt
tell them how i felt and they actually felt that
way about me, but didn't tell me. [yeah right i
know] but there is always that what if. but
if i ever did find someone...i think i'd be to
scared. i havent had a serious boyfriend.
i never been in a true meaningful relationship.
so i would be scared shitless. does anyone get
what i am saying? anyone? hello..is this thing on?
that is all for now. if you read this thank you.
i am leaving with some lyrics...

"Ashaka Rock"

As we crawl up the stairs
Grabbing everything falling down
We rip the shades to see the light
Finding hope in broken life

Just as we see some sky
I turn my head and then I close my eyes
I know that this won't end
It's just finding out the right way to begin

We're finding hope in life
You're my dream tonight
With you I'm falling in love
For the very first time

Crawling up these stairs
Grabbing everything that's falling down
We rip the shades down
To see the sky and all its light

We're finding hope in life
You're my dreams tonight
With you I'm falling in love
For the very first time

[(Find my way back, find my way back) in the background]
Open up my arms
When you fall in, we're looking up at stars
We're singing a song
We're talking and we're singing our way home

</3 <3 </3 <3333333
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